Starman

= Starman. = Starman is TheGoodBoi's explanation to the question everyone circa 1989 was asking: "Who owned a bathtub that led to the mushroom kingdom? tf?????".

Starman's Backstory
Sometime Around (1988 - 1989), ____________ was simply taking a bath. This is the worst mistake of his life right now. You see, the original plumbers of his apartment complex had found that the underground acre that the complex resided over had strange properties that made their piping transport its contents to an unknown place. They ignored that, and never told anyone. _____________ was about to find out just how big of a mistake that was. It got up to drain the bath, but it became unnaturally hard to keep his footing. The water was draining fast enough to take the floor from under his feet, and he fell into the pipes. As he tumbled down 50 meters of piping, it broke it's femur, 5 ribs, their left index finger bone, and a hamstring. (The Mario brothers do not have this problem as they were built "Mario Tough".)

Some toads in the area found this borderline dead corpse, take it to their homes, and give it a power star they found in the area. The same way our weak, puny, fragile, pathetic, weak, lamentable, weak, breakable bodies can't handle high drops, they can't handle power star energy. The corpse began to contort and become more mario-like, allowing the star energy to enter the vessel without leaving a big mess. (it just as easily could've become luigi, peach, toad, or bowser, but mario's vessel was chosen as it was the strongest, and easiest to turn into, as the plumber species is already very close to the human species, though mushroomians can also absorb star energy with moderate results.)

This horrible sequence of events result in Starman, at first just a confused guy with a new voice in it's head. The power star given to him had some side effects on his previously human body. Firstly, the power stars, and most other power ups for that matter, ARE previously mushroomians in this story, but they're deceased. The willpower and peacefulness of the deceased determine what they become when they die, and in this case, _________________ had absorbed a peacefully sleeping, very strong individual. Abruptly awoken, the energies of the power star ran rampant in Starman's new head, causing it to go insane, Screaming, Shouting, Many, many profanities, and maybe a few knocked out toads later (they're just sleeping), the spirit calmed down, and Starman was in control of his own body again. But that little voice just won't go away. It wants out. So Starman did what was necessary, it got a witch doctor to come to the mushroom kingdom and exorcise the spirit out of him. and then that had EVEN MORE SIDE EFFECTS! Starman got to keep the strength and body that came with the transformation, but the spirit took his mind, and half his bank account. An effect unrelated to the merging, is that the witch doctor inatvertantly spilled some magic rubber from his tire-making hobby (it's very common from where they were from, I swear.). Mixed with it's exorcising, the rubber gave Starman toon force too, meaning that he could be reading this very text right now, or be doing something more normal like keeping shovels in his back pocket or storing boulders in it's hair, maybe walking into rakes.

He decides to remain in the Mushroom Kingdom and not return to new york. After all, he lost all his business to those confounded rookie mario brothers and their damn perfect plumbing, They didn't even double check after doing their jobs! After overthrowing bowser with his little pinky finger and taking the throne, it spent days in his new throne deciding the next plan. Go over and meet that princess toadstool, see if she's worth leaving alone or if it's a good idea to throw her kingdom for a loop? maybe, or he could just sit in the throne for longer. It chose the former, which was terrible because he was left alone to stew around his own brain for too long. He intensified his emotions this way, particularly his hate for the mario brothers, and gaining an IQ point. He blamed them for being the reason why he couldn't go home, because he had nothing to do when he got back. Instead of reaching a logical conclusion, like hating his apartment's plumbers, he decided to hate the mario brothers for little reason other than that they were better than him.

So what JOY it felt when the mario brothers fell through to the mushroom kingdom as well! And that they had met the princess too! It could stop procrastinating and take down two birds with one anvil! Or a leftover boulder.

The rest is happening as we speak, as Starman's Story isn't over yet. It's never over till the fat italiano-american cries uncle. Or quits plumbing so Starman can go back to carpenting.